The Economic Theory of Cows
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
HEDGE FUND VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The Government buys your bull and the public pays for it
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. Then the plan is rejected by Works Counsil.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them
CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
FINNISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You monitor them from the sauna via your Nokia mobile and have a shot of black vodka.
LAPPLAND CORPORATION: You have 1000 reindeers. You claim wolves ate 300 of them, collect refund, buy a new snow scooter and 100 bottles of vodka. Next year reindeers have breeded 20% more and you do the same thing again.
Stories from Belgium,Finland and around the world - sometimes from a different viewpoint...
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Summer is coming
We were in Finland a week ago and I must say it was freezing cold. I was expecting about +10 C degrees but no, after the nice Easter Saturday we faced +2 C mornings... Luckily it was not raining.
The ground was still gray, many lakes were still frozen and as you can see from the pic below there was still snow in some places. Up in Lapland of course ski season still continues, so I´m talking about southern part of Finland.The green grass is still to come, this pheasant (fasaani) was the only colorful spot in the nature. I was glad to see green trees in Brussels, but also I was happy to hear now warm spring has come to Helsinki too. +17 C just like in Brussels.
Now it is raining so it is a perfect day for an exhibition visit http://www.expo-terra.be/en/
The ground was still gray, many lakes were still frozen and as you can see from the pic below there was still snow in some places. Up in Lapland of course ski season still continues, so I´m talking about southern part of Finland.The green grass is still to come, this pheasant (fasaani) was the only colorful spot in the nature. I was glad to see green trees in Brussels, but also I was happy to hear now warm spring has come to Helsinki too. +17 C just like in Brussels.
Now it is raining so it is a perfect day for an exhibition visit http://www.expo-terra.be/en/
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Vappu in Finland & Queen's Day in Holland
After a loooong winter period Finns crawl out from their caves next week to celebrate Vappu, a yearly carnival that has some history with 1st of May parades and speeches. And these parades are nothing like US parades, up there you are silent and just march...
But there is another side of Finns too. When you watch some Finns in action, you would not expect to find them in the middle of the fun below.
These pics are from the centerpiece of the event; On 30th of April at 6 pm washing winter dirt off and putting a traditional student hat on the Lady of Helsinki, Havis Amanda -statue.
Each year one of the universities have got the privilege to do it, and since it is quite big they have become quite creative with the task.
The night continues with the traditional bar-tours and continues the following morning at a park right next to city center, Ullanlinnanmäki. At 9 am there are some formal speeches, again by one of the student boards, and day continues with brunch pic-nic. Some creative people drag there tables, chairs, big BBQ grills and some student boards even have portable saunas that they bring in. I can tell you the salty herring and pickels together with sparkling makes wonders...
Many have a tradition to have brunch or early dinner at a restaurant so it is almost impossible to get a table in more popular restaurants.
Normally the weather is still cold so you can't go swimming - park is at seaside like actually the whole city centre - but as said it is the first time people get out to have fun.
But there is another side of Finns too. When you watch some Finns in action, you would not expect to find them in the middle of the fun below.
These pics are from the centerpiece of the event; On 30th of April at 6 pm washing winter dirt off and putting a traditional student hat on the Lady of Helsinki, Havis Amanda -statue.
Each year one of the universities have got the privilege to do it, and since it is quite big they have become quite creative with the task.
The night continues with the traditional bar-tours and continues the following morning at a park right next to city center, Ullanlinnanmäki. At 9 am there are some formal speeches, again by one of the student boards, and day continues with brunch pic-nic. Some creative people drag there tables, chairs, big BBQ grills and some student boards even have portable saunas that they bring in. I can tell you the salty herring and pickels together with sparkling makes wonders...
Many have a tradition to have brunch or early dinner at a restaurant so it is almost impossible to get a table in more popular restaurants.
Normally the weather is still cold so you can't go swimming - park is at seaside like actually the whole city centre - but as said it is the first time people get out to have fun.
Balloons are part of the packet for the kids...
...and bubbles for the adults.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vappu#Finland
Here in Brussels we have a tradition to put a similar cap on Manneken Pis at 6 pm on 30th. After-party is in a restaurant at Grand Place, hence you see a Finnish flag hanging from one of the balconies. Next day pic-nic is at the parc in front of the Royal Palace.
Note the strength of the pis coming from Manneken Pis...
What if Finland is too far for next week?
If you want to experience something like that in more central Europe, I recommend to go to Amsterdam next week to celebrate the birthday of the Queen. I've been there once and I can tell you those guys know how to throw a party...
The attitude towards the day can be best described by a quote from a Dutch:
"We aren’t really interested in who’s birthday it is!"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queens_Day
And the best part is that the Queen has died for a long time ago...
Here in Brussels we have a tradition to put a similar cap on Manneken Pis at 6 pm on 30th. After-party is in a restaurant at Grand Place, hence you see a Finnish flag hanging from one of the balconies. Next day pic-nic is at the parc in front of the Royal Palace.
Note the strength of the pis coming from Manneken Pis...
What if Finland is too far for next week?
If you want to experience something like that in more central Europe, I recommend to go to Amsterdam next week to celebrate the birthday of the Queen. I've been there once and I can tell you those guys know how to throw a party...
The attitude towards the day can be best described by a quote from a Dutch:
"We aren’t really interested in who’s birthday it is!"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queens_Day
And the best part is that the Queen has died for a long time ago...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Easter - Pääsiäinen
Firstly, I must apologize for being silent for a while! I would have had many quick things to post but no time for it. Like my favourite = only active follower has said, it is sad that normal life and particularly working life disturbs updating blog...
Eli pahoittelut hiljaisuudesta, minulla olisi ollut matkan varrella monta pikaista sanaa sanottavana mutta muun muassa kiireinen työlista on hidastanut kirjoittamista... Henkilöille jotka eivät englannin kielistä kuvausta ymmärrä tai eivät edes googlen translaten kautta saa mitään irti, suosittelen Palaute-osiota tai numeron tietäville puhelinsoittoa sylttytehtaalle - kerron mielelläni mistä on kyse. Terveisiä Varvaralle :o)
Our Easter was fairly hectic, I needed to work on Good Friday and we flew to Finland on Sat in the middle of Easter. We still had the family traditions with hiding the eggs, eating lots of them, and relaxing. On top, one extremely important tradition came through: My mother made the traditional "pasha", the creamy sweet thing with Russian history (?), and I must say it was EXCELLENT with pullapitko (slices of sweet loaf of cinneman roll dow).
Yesterday we also had a bit different dinner. We went to Russian restaurant and had buffet containing all sorts of delicious specialties, e.g caviar served with blinis...
Different idea: check came in "maatuska" with local Geisha-chocolates. Price was decent.
In Finnish, Easter is "Pääsiäinen" - assuming you have a pc which shows the a´s with the dots. Otherwise it´s "Paeaesiaeinen". Easy, hah! For more language info, click the pic below (please let me know via comments if you can´t open it!).
Dear Ladies,
I know you have been hunting for THE shower cap. We found it! I tried to bribe the model to show face for the pic, but apparently it would have initiated too much fan mail...
However, I found a great piece of art. The pic does not make justice to the quality of this piece of art, but just have a look at the golden frames you can partly see - and particularly the fantastic art in the frames!
Eli pahoittelut hiljaisuudesta, minulla olisi ollut matkan varrella monta pikaista sanaa sanottavana mutta muun muassa kiireinen työlista on hidastanut kirjoittamista... Henkilöille jotka eivät englannin kielistä kuvausta ymmärrä tai eivät edes googlen translaten kautta saa mitään irti, suosittelen Palaute-osiota tai numeron tietäville puhelinsoittoa sylttytehtaalle - kerron mielelläni mistä on kyse. Terveisiä Varvaralle :o)
Our Easter was fairly hectic, I needed to work on Good Friday and we flew to Finland on Sat in the middle of Easter. We still had the family traditions with hiding the eggs, eating lots of them, and relaxing. On top, one extremely important tradition came through: My mother made the traditional "pasha", the creamy sweet thing with Russian history (?), and I must say it was EXCELLENT with pullapitko (slices of sweet loaf of cinneman roll dow).
Yesterday we also had a bit different dinner. We went to Russian restaurant and had buffet containing all sorts of delicious specialties, e.g caviar served with blinis...
Different idea: check came in "maatuska" with local Geisha-chocolates. Price was decent.
In Finnish, Easter is "Pääsiäinen" - assuming you have a pc which shows the a´s with the dots. Otherwise it´s "Paeaesiaeinen". Easy, hah! For more language info, click the pic below (please let me know via comments if you can´t open it!).
Dear Ladies,
I know you have been hunting for THE shower cap. We found it! I tried to bribe the model to show face for the pic, but apparently it would have initiated too much fan mail...
However, I found a great piece of art. The pic does not make justice to the quality of this piece of art, but just have a look at the golden frames you can partly see - and particularly the fantastic art in the frames!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
International Festival @ ISB 28 Mar 2009
Viime viikonloppuna oli Brysselin kansainvalisellä koululla perinteinen festivaali; ruokaa, juomaa, makeaa, ihmisiä ja muita paikallisia erikoisuuksia eri puolilta maailmaa. Yritän antaa pieniä makupaloja kuvien kautta, vaikka se ei oikeutusta annakaan.
Men with pipes.
Last weekend we visited the annual Internation Festival at International School of Brussels. It is a day full of flavours from around the world; food, drinks, sweets, people and all sorts of local specialties. I will try to give you little tasters via the pics.
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Perinteisesti päivä alkaa jenkkityyppisellä paraatilla jossa kaikki maat aakkosjärjestyksessä juhlivat alueen läpi säkkipillien johdolla.
Day starts with a parade of nations, where all countries walk festively around the area - lead by pipes.
Kiltti-miehet pillien kera.Men with pipes.
And they say Finns are shy and silent nation - no sign of it here.
We had one of the biggest flags in the parade.
Kanadan joukkue oli tanssihengessä aamusta alkaen, tämäkin olisi pitänyt saada videolle.
Team Canada was on show mode, this dance should have been taken on video.
Onnistuin ikuistamaan seinälle heijastetusta koulun miespuoleisten liikunnan opettajien esityksen - valitettavasti en nähnyt livenä!
I managed to capture a snapshot of video: school male PE teachers´fantastic performance that unfortunately I didn´t see live.
Jenkeillä oli jälleen hodareita. Purilaisten paisto on takavuosina ollut liian hankalaa järjestää ulkotiloissa. Lasten suosikki!
Team US has skipped burgers apparently due to complicated outdoor cooking and was focusing on hot dogs. Kids favourite!
Arabimailla oli yhdistetty osasto jossa oli monia maukkaita vaihtoehtoja. Lonkero ei ollut näille kylläkään osuva kylkiäinen mutta harvinainen herkku näillä nurkilla.
Arabic countries had a combined booth with multiple delicious options.
As you can see, they trusted professional cooking.
Latin America was exactly what you can imagine: Fun, loud, tasty, colorful...
He olivat keskittyneet drinkkeihin, holiton 3 Euroa ja holillinen 4 Euroa. Tuoreena tehty mansikka daiquiri (tms) tai pina colada ei oo kovin huono vaihtoehto lauantai iltapaivaan. Pikkusuolaista sai ottaa samaan hintaan halunsa mukaan.
Their focus was on drinks, 3 Euros for kids/drivers and 4 Euros for others. Freshly made strawberry daiquiri or pina colada... Small snacks included in the price.
Myös Espanjan osasto oli erinomainen. Kotona tehty perunamunakas viinin kera 3 Euroa - valittavana 5 eri kotona tehtyä vaihtoehtoa. Etualalla ruotsalainen otsa.
Also Spanish section was excellent. Home made Tortilla Patata with wine 3 Euros - and you could choose from 5 different ones made by different families.
Menu
Hollantilaisia tulppaaneja - Dutch tulips
Pohjoismaiden osastolla oli hauska peli lapsenmielisille: Heitä hernepussi maaliin ja ota Brunbergin Pusun tyyppinen karkki lennosta kiinni.
Nordic booth had fun game for the kids: Hit the target & catch a big candy.
These b-ball ladies had their own drink trade to go.
Cultural exchange: A Finn with Norwegian beer & A Norwegian with Finnish Lapin Kulta beer.
Nordic booth had also own Viking King from Iceland.
Viking King and his Captain having Finnish tarr(!) shot.
Päivän päätteeksi purku tapahtu yllättävän nopeasti ja koko sali jäi siistiksi. Kun lattiat oli peitettynä siellä pystyi seuraavana päivänä pelaamaan koristakin.
Wrapping up the day was quite fast, people knew what to do.
Pohjoismailla oli monien juomien lisäksi karkkiongintaa, yllä mainittu heittopeli karkin nappaamiseksi, lohirullia, poroleipiä, vohveleita sekä auringossa kuivattua Islantilaista kalaa sekä törkeän pahan hajuisia hain palasia.
In addition to candy-fishing, funny target-shooting above, salmon rolls, reindeer sandwiches and waffles as well as dried fish and horrible smelling shark pieces, Nordic booth had some local specialty drinks: from Finland tarr and salty liquirice shots, cloudberry liquoir, gin soda, and Lappland´s Golg - Lapin Kulta beer. From Iceland Black Death -shots and beer, Norwegian and Danish beers. Couldn´t taste them all but did taste Caiperina(typing?) from Brasilians and Irish coffee from Irish...
Aprillipilat - April Fools Day Tricks
Tanaan on aprillipaiva joten pikku jullikoiden tekeminen on normaalia sallitumpaa. Tassa muutamia esimerkkeja talta paivalta;
- Lapset aamulla nopeasti liikkeelle katsomalla verhojen raosta ulos ja sanomalla etta ulkona on lunta. Ei toimi Suomessa mutta Brysselissa kylla!
- Tyhjaan maitotolkkiin vetta ja aamiaispoydassa odotat kiitollisia kommentteja kun murot, kaakao tai kahvikuppi on pilalla. Tanaan se oli K joka kaatoi "maitoa" murolautaselle...
- Toimiston kahviautomaattiin "Epakunnossa" -lappu. Hetken paasta vesi- ja limuautomaatteihin. Hieman myohemmin ehka vessan oveen (kerroksen ainoa...).
Viime vuosilta koettua:
- Vaimon kahvimukiin lamminta kokista ja vastaavasti lasten limulasiin kylmaa kahvia.
- Lasten vastaiskuna ovat lukinneet karkkikaapin ja piilottaneet avaimen seka tyhjentaneet sukka- ja kalsarilaatikkoni suihkukaappiin. Onneksi meilla on toinenkin suihku, lasten tiloissa :o)
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Tanaan lapset turvautuivat vanhaan hyvaksi havaittuun: Karkki- ja keksikaapit lukossa. Jos jotain tasta kaapista haluaisi, rikkoa pitaisi...
Kerro lisaa vinkkeja Comments-osion kautta - kaytannon piloja tarvitaan aina!
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Kids pulled out an old trick from last year: They locked all doors that were between me and the candies. Can´t go through this without breaking something...
Share your tips or experiences via Comments-field, practical jokes are needed through the year!
- Lapset aamulla nopeasti liikkeelle katsomalla verhojen raosta ulos ja sanomalla etta ulkona on lunta. Ei toimi Suomessa mutta Brysselissa kylla!
- Tyhjaan maitotolkkiin vetta ja aamiaispoydassa odotat kiitollisia kommentteja kun murot, kaakao tai kahvikuppi on pilalla. Tanaan se oli K joka kaatoi "maitoa" murolautaselle...
- Toimiston kahviautomaattiin "Epakunnossa" -lappu. Hetken paasta vesi- ja limuautomaatteihin. Hieman myohemmin ehka vessan oveen (kerroksen ainoa...).
Viime vuosilta koettua:
- Vaimon kahvimukiin lamminta kokista ja vastaavasti lasten limulasiin kylmaa kahvia.
- Lasten vastaiskuna ovat lukinneet karkkikaapin ja piilottaneet avaimen seka tyhjentaneet sukka- ja kalsarilaatikkoni suihkukaappiin. Onneksi meilla on toinenkin suihku, lasten tiloissa :o)
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Tanaan lapset turvautuivat vanhaan hyvaksi havaittuun: Karkki- ja keksikaapit lukossa. Jos jotain tasta kaapista haluaisi, rikkoa pitaisi...
Kerro lisaa vinkkeja Comments-osion kautta - kaytannon piloja tarvitaan aina!
----
Kids pulled out an old trick from last year: They locked all doors that were between me and the candies. Can´t go through this without breaking something...
Share your tips or experiences via Comments-field, practical jokes are needed through the year!
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